The Shepard Shuffle
by Purple88
Summary: Bit of daftness at Purgatory. Liara/Femshep with some Aria mixed in for good measure. A bit of Traynor/Gabbyness too...


_Disclaimer: Bioware and EA own it all._

_Pairing: Femshep/Liara and Aria along for the ride._

_Rating: M (just in case)_

_Note: No beta reader, so no doubt there will be some mistakes._

_References: Have included a small nod to **Rae D. Magdon** here (the queen of awesome Femshep/Liaraness. If you get to the end and missed it then you seriously need to go here: .net/s/7946872/1/Display_

_Mild reference to some Gabby/Ken banter also included. S'all on youtube._

_Note: Funnily enough before writing this I listened to a bit of the Purgatory dance track on youtube and came across the following comment: "FUCK YEAH! DO THE SHEPARD SHUFFLE! *shuffle awkwardly*. Cracked me up as that is basically this fic summed up. So thank you random youtuber for accidentally naming my fic :D_

The Shepard Shuffle

It was one of the most popular nights in Purgatory. Music was not so much thumping as it was buzzing through the club in a sharp and jagged beat. Though the club may have lacked the intoxicating atmosphere of some more well known nightclubs out in the traverse, on the Citadel it still served its purpose well. The lights were low and the drinks were flowing, and everyone was there for the same reason: To relax and forget for a few hours.

Joker sat on his bar stool with his elbows resting back on the bar behind him as he looked out at the crowd. He had a good buzz going and the people-watching had been pretty entertaining so far. He'd already witnessed a couple of quarians drinking a large group of turians under the table; a hanar get escorted from the building after repeated warnings to "watch where you put those damn tentacles" on the dancefloor, and then there was Vega actually getting turned down by a girl when he asked her to dance. Joker smirked. That one had earned him 20 credits; his risky bet had paid off.

"Hey Joker!" One of the marines and adopted drinking buddies of the evening moved over to him with an empty beer glass in hand, "It's your round, Buddy!".

"Already ordered," Joker replied.

The beefy marine nodded his approval and leaned casually against the bar as he waited for the drinks to arrive. He scanned the scene briefly before his dark eyes rested on a particularly pleasant sight. He nudged Joker and leaned closer to make his voice heard above the music, "Damn, i know asari are supposed to be hot, but shes somethin' else. Wooo!"

Joker followed the other guy's gaze and raised his eyebrows. His companion continued obliviously, "Y'know she looks a little out of place, think I should go talk to her? Make her feel welcome?"

The asari in question was standing all alone some distance away in an elegant yet form-fitting dress. Joker looked back at his friend and pulled out a small stack of credits from his pocket. He slammed them on the bar next to them and grinned.

"I bet all these credits she turns you down," He stated.

The soldier bared his teeth in what was probably intended as a wolfish smile, "You're on!"

Maybe if the poor guy wasn't already half baked, he'd have wondered at Joker's confidence. Or he may even have recognised that his target was in fact Dr Liara T'soni; powerful, intelligent and with eyes only for a certain Commander. As it was he ambled towards her oblivious to what he was getting himself into.

Joker watched with amusement as the guy made his way clumsily through the crowd. It was surprising he was even able to walk in a straight line, but even more surprising when he was beaten to the the punch by Aria. As the ex-queen of Omega stalked over to Liara, the drunken marine stopped in his tracks staring for a moment before beating a hasty retreat. He strode quickly back to Joker and took up postion next to him to watch the show, "Forget the bet man, this just got interesting."

Joker nodded, unable to tear his gaze from the scene unfolding across the room. He was vaguely aware of more off-duty soldiers coming to stand and watch with murmurs and rumblings of confusion and interest. Aria never moved for anyone. So to see her not only up and about, but moving towards Liara was an instant source of curiosity. Joker didn't need to guess at just how many of the men here had fantasized over Aria and/or Liara at least once. Both were powerful and beautiful but in very different ways.

Though her exact expression wasn't clear from this distance, it was clear Liara wasn't here enjoying herself. She stood tall and elegant in front of the railings, but never leaning against them. A full and untouched drink was on a table next to her and she was facing the stairs that led up to the dance floor. If Joker had to guess he'd say she'd been waiting for Shepard to return. Aria moved unhurriedly towards Liara with the eyes of a predator and the body of a dancer. She didn't so much stand as languish at Liara's side when she reached it. Liara for her part looked suitably confused and irritated by the intrusion.

Joker couldn't hear their conversation from here, but he instinctively leaned forward in this bar stool as he watched Aria lean into Liara to speak intimately into her ear while one hand trailed slowly down her side. They all saw Liara stiffen at the contact. None of the men moved a muscle as they watched, captivated. Liara caught the wandering hand and firmly moved it away, but Aria was still uncomfortably close. She faced liara and more words seemed to slip from her lips. Liara couldn't back up so she held her ground instead, locking eyes with her counterpart and stubbornly refusing to look away. Joker zeroed in as Liara's own lips moved in response to whatever Aria had said. They were still inches from each other. Aria was wearing her usual outfit but Liara had on a long dress, the one she had worn when going for a tour of the Normandy during the time of the collectors. Their bodies were only inches apart from each other and no doubt all the men in the ever growing audience around the bar stool would be imagining what it would be like for those two lithe bodies to be crushed together. Both asari were staring daggers at each other now and every fibre of Joker's alcohol-sodden brain was willing them to kiss. His mouth fell open just a little as he imagined that bruising kiss; all teeth and aggression. Liara was usually a kind and gentle individual, but get her angry and she could be more frightening than ten charging Krogan; and right now as the strobe lighting flashed across their faces and the music beat an ever more frantic tune, their hostility for each other was palpable even from a distance.

"Ten credits say they kiss!" One guy piped up.

"Twenty that we see a cat fight!" Another guy slurred.

Joker held up a hand, "Shut up! It's getting good!"

Whatever Aria's game, Liara had clearly had enough. She laid hands on Aria and pushed firmly forwards. The pirate allowed herself to be moved backwards a few paces with a dangerous glint in her hard eyes. Liara said something and Aria gave her a predatory smile. As the men gathered around Joker's bar stool looking on with glasses forgotten and eyes wide, Aria flowed up against the other asari's side, pressing fully into her and clearly whispering something wicked. Liara's hands clenched into fists at her sides and she stood stiffly. Joker could vividly imagine the perfume Aria was no doubt giving off, the dark and sultry growl of her voice as her warm breath tickled over Liara's ear. The older Asari's body was less curvy than Liara's with smaller breasts, but she was slim and toned and Joker let out a breath he didn't know he was holding as he imagined what Liara would be feeling with that body pressed against hers.

And then the moment was broken and Aria was backing away, her eyes clearly lingered over Liara, running up and down her form appreciatively even as she ran a hand down over her own body suggestively from her breasts down to her flat stomach. And then she turned and was on her way up the stairs towards the dance floor.

Joker didn't know where to look. Follow Aria or focus on Liara? He turned to look at the men gathered around his bar stool, all still staring like idiots. When he turned back Aria was lost in the crowd. With help from a couple of the others he stood and began limping through the crowds. He had a hunch this was about Shepard and he needed to follow the action to the dance floor.

As he made his way slowly through the ever growing crowds of curious drunks, a flash of blue caught his eye. Liara stormed her way up the same stairs Aria had taken moments before and wisps of blue biotics trailed behind.

"She looks pissed!" One of the guys helping him shouted over the music. "Where dya think they're goin'?"

Joker nodded to the dance floor above, "I'm pretty sure Shepard is up there."

The other guy grinned good-naturedly, "Hope she knows what she's in for!"

"Let's move before we miss it!" Joker replied.

They seemed to be moving in slow motion through the crowds of people as Joker's mind went into overdrive as to what they were missing. He imagined Shepard innocently moving on the dance floor only to be joined by Aria. He imagined the Commander's initial surprise as the asari moved towards her, no doubt swaying her hips to the music and making her way fluidly past the other dancers with an effortless grace. Her eyes would be locked onto Shepard's, the smouldering look giving the Commander pause.

Joker stumbled a little as his mind conjured up the picture of Aria moving silently around Shepard to press her body into her back, hands flowing down over Shepard's arms to rest possessively on her hips. The Commander would no doubt resist and try to pull away at first, but with the buzz of alcohol running pleasantly through her and the music washing over everything in a mix of purple colours it would be easy to lean back into the other dancer, surrendering for just a moment to Aria's firm hold. And Shepard's awkward dancing would relax into a smooth rhythm as her hips moved in time with Aria's, their bodies flowing as one. He could clearly invision Aria's wicked mouth grazing Shepard's neck as they moved together, heat radiating from them. He imagined Shepard closing her lovely eyes and tilting her head back a little in response...

"Hey Joker, snap out of it man, you nearly ran right into that Krogan!"

Joker snapped back to reality and took stock of where they where. The music pumped around them and yet more and more people seemed to be travelling to the dance floor. It seemed like whatever was happening up there was drawing one hell of a crowd. Perhaps Liara and Aria were coming to blows over the Commander. He licked his lips unconsciously and was suddenly acutely aware of how dry his mouth was as his mind conjured up new images. He grabbed a shot from a nearby table and knocked it back, not caring whose it was. His vision swam a little.

He imagined Liara striding up to her lover and enemy with purpose. He imagined the young asari roughly pulling Aria away from Shepard. But instead of being pulled into a fight, Aria would continue to dance, her momentum never wavering as she moved up close against Liara instead - perhaps releasing a few wisps of purple biotics. And just as Liara made to move away, Shepard would be there in between them to capture Liara's lips roughly with her own and circle her arms around her in an act of possesiveness. But that would do nothing but encourage the pirate queen. While Shepard held Liara close, and ran her hands up and down her back as they began their own rhythm to the music, Aria would retake her place behind Shepard.

Joker continued his slow, limping progress to the dance floor, relieved to have finally made it to the stairs at least. Somewhere above through the crowd he thought he saw a flash of blue biotics, but it was hard to tell with the blue and purple lighting still flying across the room in dizzying time with the music.

He imagined the flare of biotics as a flash of jealous anger from the Doctor as Aria let her hands roam freely over Shepard's body and around her waist as she moved against her. He imagined Liara being drawn into the battle and pulling away from the Commander slightly to better be in her line of sight. He imagined her begin a dance of her own in front of Shepard's wide and lust filled eyes. The Commander would be feeling Aria's tight hot body winding around her own, guiding her body into an intoxicating rhythm while in front of her, her lover moved to the music free and uninhibited. A heated look of pure desire would pass between them.

The beat of the music became faster and Joker imagined the two asari and their female captive keeping perfect time with the beat. Liara would move in and for a moment lean in so close to the Commander that their lips would be inches apart. But before the gap could be closed Aria's teeth would graze Shepard's sensitive neck causing a shudder to pass through the woman as she gasped and arched back slightly, her eyes still locked on the azure ones in front of her. To her surprise Liara would smirk and with a hard look in her eyes she'd lean forward again this time to pass by Shepard's own lips to instead capture Aria's mouth behind her. Liara's body would be pressed against Shepard's front now as Aria kept up her movements from behind. The three would be moving in heated unison, blue and purple biotic wisps curling around their forms. Shepard's heart would be pounding now as she roughly guided Liara's face back to her own to capture her mouth in a searing kiss, nipping her bottom lip possesively.

And then Aria would be done with sharing. She'd break away from the pair and move between the two to kiss Shaprd thoroughly. Shepard would indulge in the kiss but keep her eyes open and on Liara at all times. Her feverish gaze never wavering from her lover, she would slide her hands down over Aria's breasts and down across her stomach to rest on her hips. The kiss would continue long and indulgent while Liara watched with a mixture of heat and jealously warring in her darkening eyes. Then Shepard's hand would be moving to run up the inside of Aria's thigh...and then Liara would be moving to. She'd roughly pull the other asari off Shepard and crush her own mouth to the Aria's. She'd allow Aria to suck her lower lip and she'd make good use of her tongue in full view of the Commander. Shepard's eyes would burn into both of them and then...

"S'cuse me, s'cuse me. Make room for my crippled friend here." Joker was knocked out of his daydream when he heard his friend's voice and realised they had finally made it to the top of the stairs.

The crowds in front finally parted and as he finally took in the sight before him the only words he could muster were: "What the shit?"

Shepard was indeed on the dance floor, but Aria was nowhere in sight. Instead the floor was packed with an ever widening circle of people all linking arms or hands and moving in a bizarre and jerking shuffling motion around the floor. Shepard was at the heart of it laughing and joking with Liara on one side and Tali on the other. But all around them people were following the Commander's lead, occasionally adding in their own crazy flourishes which then quickly moved through the dancers like a mexican wave. He watched in disbelief as Shepard did an erratic little hop and the movement was instantly copied by the surrounding people. The laugher and merriment was infectious. A few people stumbled or fell, drinks slopping over their glasses as they tried to keep up but there was always someone close by to steady them and poke fun. As the shock wore off Joker found himself truly smiling as he witnessed all his friends' joy. Even Liara was smiling and not one of her little half smile but a genuine grin that reached all the way to her eyes.

"C',mon man, lets go!" Joker resisted the other soldier's tugging of his arm as he tried to led him to the dance floor.

"I can't dance, remember?" Joker called above the music.

"Neither can Shepard!" the guy laughed in reply.

Joker couldn't argue with that one. He may not able to dance, but crazy shuffling he could do. As he limped onto the floor he grabbed a bottle from the nearest table, raised it high and shouted, "HELL YEAH! Do the Shepard shuffle!"

The crowd went wild.

* * *

As last call ended people began making their way out of Purgatory. Everyone was particularly merry and while the crowds were moving and dispersing, it was a slow and unhurried progress. Friends meandered this way and that as they half stumbled out into the surrounding area. Among them was Gabby and Traynor. Both had drunk alot and done the Shepard shuffle 'til they dropped. They were now tired, but giddy and helped each other out of the club giggling a little too loudly.

"This was fun!" Gabby announced as she leaned heavily on her friend, "I can't remember the last time I did something without Ken."

Traynor steered them vaguely towards what she imagined was the exit and agreed, "I know! Its the first time i've left the Normandy since the mission started. Thanks for coming with me."

Gabby smiled and opened her mouth so say something but the thought skittered away before she could catch it. Instead she giggled as a new thought entered her head, "Did you see Dr T'soni doing the shuffle? She's always so serious, i'd never have believed it unless i'd seen it!"

"Hmm," Traynor hummed thoughtfully. "You know.." she began slowly, trying to piece her words together without slurring, "...I reckon shes probably a really good dancer if you could convince her to do it. I mean, shes tall and moves so smoothly and she would fill out one of those dancer costumes really well..."

Gabby shot an amused sideways glance at Traynor as she renewed her grip around her waist to keep them steady. "You've thought about that before," she teased.

"Actually EDI mentioned something about a black Chora's den outfit once. I always assumed she was joking but you never know..."

Gabby giggled again, "Liara in a stripper's outfit? Thats like something out of Ken's fantasy. There's no way. Shes wound too tight."

Traynor nodded a little sadly, "You're probably right, although EDI is usually a better gossip than she is a liar...and if Shepard can get her to do the shuffle maybe she has powers of persuasion we don't even know about."

Gabby shook her head, "Wishful thinking."

And then the elevator was somehow in front of them. The pair stumbled inside and Gabby hit the button for the docking bay. The two stood a little apart as the elevator began its ascent. It was Trayor who broke the silence by suddenly asking, "Would it also be wishful thinking to get a kiss from the loveliest engineer on the Normandy tonight?"

Gabby smiled. She was normally a very down to earth person and usually listened more to her head than her heart. But with the warm glow from the alcohol and all the night's fun, she couldn't help but look at Traynor's charming smile and bright eyes and want her. She didn't bother to reply and instead leaned in for a kiss. It was short and sweet and it left them both blushing and a little breathless.

Traynor tried to think of something clever to say but her mind was blunted by alcohol and so she said, "Consider your tree officially barked," she frowned and added,"...up." It still didnt sound right, but oh well.

It had the desired effect anyway. Gabby laughed at the reference to her ealier moaning about how nobody (namely Ken after all this time) was barking up her tree.

And together they made their way back onto the Normandy. Both feeling a little more hopeful and a little less lost than when this mission first began.

* * *

Aria had slunk out of her club quickly after the odd turn of events in Purgatory. She grimaced at the thought of the place. Omega was a domain to be proud of. This backwater club on the Citadel barely even deserved to be called a club. It had been a living hell since she'd first been forced to stay there. Perhaps that was why when Shepard and her crew had walked in she had taken notice. Endless nights spent in the souless place had left her itching for a distraction and as she saw Liara hang back while the others all headed to the dance floor she knew she'd found it. Aria didn't know the other asari well and as a rule she prided herself on staying aloof and apart from other people, but something in Liara's stiff and unyeilding stance irked her, made her want to tease and push and find out just what made her tick. Anything to escape the knawing memories of her lost daughter or the maddening sense of loss over her empire. And so she'd abandoned her spot on the couch and made her way over. It had been interesting messing with the younger asari. She'd been wound so tight but everyone had their weaknesses. It didn't take her long to find out that in Liara's case it was still Shepard. She'd made her way up to the dance floor to seek out the Commander knowing full well Liara would be following. She'd had command of the situation...or so she'd thought. But Shepard had had an interesting reaction to Aria's attention and Liara's indignant anger. Instead of playing the game she had taken one giant step back and began the oddest little dance she'd ever seeen. Tali had been the quickest on the uptake and had quickly rallied others. As the dance floor exploded with energy and laughter she'd made a quick exit.

Aria now found herself leaning upon the barrier of the balcony outside the club. It was not long until last call and there was already a trickle of people exiting the club. She didn't bother to look round at them. Not until she heard a voice address her, "No shit! So the great Aria T'Loak really did end up slumming it on the Citadel".

A young, heavily tattooed woman sauntered over to Aria and took up position next to her. She leaned casually on the barrier as she appraised her. Aria knew her to be Jack, one of Shepard's former crew members. She was tough, wiry and had no love for Cerberus. She was also supposed to be an incredibly powerful biotic. "Hello Jack", she acknowledged without turning her head.

"So how'd you manage to lose Omega? That was a sweet set up you had there. I even thought about moving there...once upon a time anyways", she asked conversationally.

Aria's voice took on an edge as she replied, "I haven't lost Omega. Its just temporarily misplaced." She scowled as she added darkly, "The Illusive man doesn't have a clue what hes started by messing with me."

Jack was suitably impressed. "So i'm guessing you have a plan to screw him?"

"I do" Aria said cockily, "Revenge is what I do best".

"So what do you plan to do?" Jack asked intrigued.

"Shepard doesn't know it yet, but she'll be helping." Aria paused to look directly at the human fixing her with a deliberate look, "...but why don't we talk about this somewhere more private?"

Jack sensed the shift in mood and recognised the look in the Pirate Queen's eye. There was a time to plan revenge and a time to say 'fuck it all' and just forget for a while. She stepped closer to Aria and her voice dropped an octave as she replied, "If by talking, you mean silently fucking each other's brains out, then im in..."

And with that, the human and asari made their way into the shadows.

END


End file.
